Cubicle Pranks

I will probably never work in a cubicle again. Many people have negative associations with cubicles, they see them as cages. But there are some benefits to working in a cubicle... most importantly the cubicle prank. The other day at lunch I began recounting all the great cube pranks that were pulled at my old job, and I decided that I needed to honor those great days with a blog post. It all started with a Christmas present...

The holidays are a great time for pranks, as the pace at the office slows down and many people leave their cubes vulnerable as they spend time with their families. It took 6 rolls of My Little Pony wrapping paper to convert Ben's cube into a giant Christmas present, but I think he really appreciated it. At the same time, we used aluminum foil to shield Mark's cube from dangerous electromagnetic radiation:

Just a few months later, I was on a business trip for 2 weeks, giving my beloved co-workers ample time to convert my cubicle into a bathroom:

Note the linoleum. That's not a standard option for cubicles. Unfortunately, they failed to inform me that the toilet wasn't really hooked up to the plumbing, which led to an awkward afternoon. Some months passed, and the group engaged an outsider, with this prank on Sylvia's cube:


I would like to declare my innocence in this prank, this was carried out the day I was married so I have an air-tight alibi. And despite the message on the front box ("Shawn Stone was here"), Shawn Stone was not there, either. That year I left for another 2 week business trip in February, and was somehow surprised to find my cube covered with Barbie Valentine's Day cards on my return. There were hundreds of cards, signed by people from all over the building, and they were EVERYWHERE. I found at least one card every two months for my remaining two years at that job. Really makes a guy feel loved. Somewhere in there, I did a solo job against Ben, changing the following sign in his cube. It took him 3 weeks to notice (you might have to be a geek to get this one)...


I'm proud to say that he chose to leave the modified sign in place, stating that he liked it better than the original. However, he did prefer the original picture of his wife to this one that we whipped up with Microsoft paint:


That's Bryan playing the role of Ben's wife. To his credit, Ben noticed the modifications to his photo right away, while it was a couple weeks before Mark noticed that there was something off about the photo of his newborn son...


Now some of you may have noticed that Ben seems to be bearing the brunt of these pranks. And we were going to give him a break, but then he went and had a baby. And when you have a baby, you need diapers, so we decided to lend him a helping hand:


Like an iceberg, this photo only shows about 15% of the diapers used. We diapered his stapler. And his tape dispenser. We diapered each of his books individually. I labeled a folder "Extra diaper" and put it in his filing cabinet. I bet it's still there.

You would think that after 4 years I would come to expect this sort of thing, but you'd be wrong. I was caught completely off guard when I arrived for my last day of work, and found this little send off to medical school:

I'm sure this brings up a lot of questions. How the hell did you get into medical school? Is that a real human spine? Did you guys ever do any work? Why didn't Ben ever punch you in the face? I'm afraid I don't have answers for you. But I can tell you that I had some great times in my 4 years there, and worked with some of the best people I've met in my life. If any of you are reading this, I miss you all and I hope this inspires you to do something unproductive. Preferably to Dave, it seems like he's gotten away pretty easy...